So the Grammys were this past weekend. I don’t really care about them because the last time I even purchased an album that won an award was in junior high. And yes, it was probably a Britney Spears album. And yes, you were probably graduating college, but whatever.

Lisa Rinna, are you in there? I only care because you were part of “Veronica Mars” and that somehow redeems you.

Oh, M.I.A. I kind of love this dress and I can’t explain why. Kind of like how I can’t explain how I love Grandma’s Boy or Cheetos with Snickers. It’s so bad it’s good!

I am happy to see Jennifer Hudson out and about, especially in this dress.

Dear Cyndi Lauper, you have a jellyfish on your head. Kthxbai.

I have no idea who you are, Paula Patton, but I’d like to become friends with you and your dress.

The one time I do NOT like a bow.

I don’t get Miley Cyrus. I don’t like Miley Cyrus. But I am glad she wore something that doesn’t make her look like a cheap whore.

Valley of the Dolls + Liz Taylor hair + shiny stuff = this.

Estelle is a robot. She will eat you. 000110011. Beep Beep Bop.

So I don’t know what you’re doing for Valentine’s Day…

…but I do.

Purchase your pair here.