I was recently talking to a friend about our wardrobes (impeccable), my impressive closet space (1o feet with shelves), and the number of dresses residing in said closet now that I’ve finished exchanging my winter wear for spring (over 50, under 100. Barely).

Megan: I have a problem.
Colin: no you don’t. you have a gift.

I keep the best company.

And yet with all of those dresses and skirts and tops and jackets, I still spend a good twenty minutes each morning standing in front of my closet, staring into its depths and proclaiming that I have nothing to wear.

So today I’m beginning a project! I’m promising not to buy a new skirt or dress until I’ve worn everything in my closet. So I’ll be seeing you next year, mkay? Nah, a lot of my dresses are considered “special occasion,” so unless I’m going to the opera, attending a gallery opening, or accepting an engagement ring, I unfortunately won’t be able to show you all of them.

Everyone has an engagement dress, right? Anyone? Hello?

Editor’s Note: This is not my impersonation of a “pain” pose as seen on ANTM last night, but rather me simply fixing my bra strap and being too lazy to take another picture.

Also, I don’t wear this much fucking brown. Or that much Ann Taylor. What a boring way to start this project.